Bollocks

From : The little book of Complete Bollocks (alistair beaton)

You can do it.
Think of your negative feelings as fruits or vegetables.
Your sadness is a tomato.
Your anxiety is a marrow.
Your guilt is a cucumber.
Crush the tomato. Squash the marrow. Sit on the cucumber.

Finding out who you are
The best way to find out who you are is to go up to somebody who knows who you are and say : 'Hello, who am I?'
Looking at your name in a driving license or passport is another useful way of finding out who you are.

Never too late
Does it feel too late to change your life? If so, put all the clocks in the house back by at least three hours. Now use those extra hours to change your life.

Color Therapy.
Try painting your therapist another color.

Connecting
Connect with others by gluing your forehead to someone else's.

Painful
Make space for pain in your life.
If you feel just fine, seek out a consellor or a therapist who will explore with you the reasons why you are denying your pain.

Remember
You are the most important person you will ever meet. Why not ask yourself for an autograph?
(tell yourself it's not for you, it's for your inner child)

Carpe Diem
Stress and conflict come from thinking too much about the future.
Whenever possible, cherish the moment, possess the moment, stay in the moment. If there's a large clock around, open it up and get inside.

The Bumblebee
Sit in a park on a warm summer's day and watch a bumblebee go from flower to flower.
What can you learn from the bumblebee?

Clothes and you.
The clothes you wear reveal a great deal about the sort of person you are.
Surprise other people by taking all your clothes off before you go out.

Profound
The inner self is only the outer self turned inside-out.
Light a candle and think about this.